Posts tagged: sobbity
i fucking hate allergy season but the alternative is worse
what, like winter all the time?
no, like if trees didn't have pollen and instead they fucked like people
oh my god
going to the park would be considered so scandalous, like going to the porno theatre
actually it would be far worse if people had sex like trees
well yeah, like if-
NO DON'T SAY IT
LIKE IF BUGS WERE INVOLVED
I HATE YOU
without context this is very “who’s the creeper now?”
Derek gets hit with some sort of amnesia spell by a witch they’re taking out. And at first it’s funny watching Derek cut himself off mid-conversation, having forgotten what he was talking about.
But then it starts getting worse and Derek starts slowly forgetting more important things. Like the fact that he turned Erica and Boyd. And that he’s the Alpha now. Not to mention the horrific day where he wakes up and for a good six hours afterwards can’t remember what happened to his family and doesn’t understand where they are.
And then he starts forgetting names and places and has to start carrying round a mess of little notes in his pocket just to get through the day. And no one can understand why they thought this was funny before, because they’re watching Derek slip away a little bit more every day, slowly becoming someone else, and it’s horrible.
“What time is it?”
“You already asked me that.”
“Oh. What did you say?”
“I’m disappearing, aren’t I?”
By the time Deaton finds a way to stop the spell, it’s too late; Derek’s basically already gone. So they use Deaton’s contacts to get him set up in New York, where no one will know he was once a wanted fugitive, giving him over to people who will get him set up for his new life now that he’s forgotten his old one. It’s a good plan. It’s the plan that makes them all hurt inside, but it’s still a good plan.
Except that six months later, Derek comes back. And Stiles can’t believe it, following him through the town, taking care not to be seen. It looks like Derek’s following some sort of instinct: he keeps stopping in front of the high school and the warehouse district and other places that clearly feel familiar to him. He doesn’t seem to notice Stiles.
By the time Derek reaches the station, Stiles is only a few metres behind him. He watches Derek wander round the front desk, looking lost and thoughtful, and his heart clenches.
Because he still remembers the first time Derek kissed him, hoisting Stiles onto the desk and not caring that someone could walk in at any moment.
And it’s never going to happen again because Derek. Cannot. Remember.
wow i really need to start reading the books i bought
“and we’ll always be together, right?”
NOTICE: Maintenance next Saturday with planned service interruption.
WHAT HORRIBLE UNWANTED AND UNASKED-FOR “FEATURES” ARE YOU GOING TO ROLL OUT AND DESTROY OUR LIVES WITH NOW
When Dean Winchester finally dies (for good, this time), Death takes a holiday.
He spends a week going to every fair and carnival in the continental US.
He eats every deep fried concoction possible.
When his holiday comes to an end, he goes to Heaven and knocks on the pearly gates with the head of his cane. He asks to speak with Dean Winchester.
Dean is surprised to find Death there when the angels bring him forward. Death swore that their last meeting, when Death personally escorted Dean’s soul to Heaven, would be the final time they ever saw one another.
“I found it,” Death tells him. “The perfect pie. It was in Muncie, Indiana. Apple, with a flaky, golden crust. The ratio of cinnamon to sugar and its balance with the tart Granny Smith…. it was just perfect. Divine, even.”
Dean stares at Death, unsure of why he is telling him this, but then he looks down. In Death’s hand is a wrinkled, white paper bag. Inside the bag is a slice of the perfect pie.
Dean takes the bag, mystified.
“Thanks for the pickle chips that time,” Death says, then disappears into the void.