Girl: I want you to dominate me
OHHHHHHHHHHH MY GOD i can’t even make this fic i’m just
so headcanon: jake’s, like, a REALLY lapsed jew (i mean he’s had a bar mitzvah, he knows like half the v’ahavta, he makes latkes on hanukkah, but ever since his nana died there’s been no one yelling at him to do shabbat and he’s forgotten literally everything)
but he and gina are talking one day about how jake’s nana used to host the most hardcore seders— like, 3 hours long, matzo balls that were exactly the right amount of fluffy, horseradish that would make your brain steam out your ears, the afikomen would not be found for y e a r s
and holt hears them and happens to mention that oh, he and kevin have been looking for a seder to attend this weekend, they usually have a seder with kevin’s family but unfortunately kevin’s mother’s cousin’s older daughter (who usually hosts them) has recently had a baby and can’t do it, and everyone else in kevin’s family is too far away, what on earth will they do
and amy overhears this and HELPFULLY INFORMS HOLT!! THAT JAKE IS HOSTING A SEDER!! THE BEST SEDER EVER!! HIS FAMOUS SEDER! THAT HE DOES EVERY YEAR! AND YOU ARE TOTALLY WELCOME TO ATTEND SIR!!
captain holt is like, that sounds lovely, santiago
amy is like, !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
jake is like, what