Install this theme

bettercallssaul:

the new season of game of thrones looks so good

asks:
I didn't realize when I started reading the Aubrey/Maturin books that there would be a scene where Maturin clubs a Frenchman over the head with an enormous stone phallus before calmly slitting his throat. I am enthralled.

IT IS THE FINEST THING EVER WRITTEN TBH 

officersneepsnop:

the first step to any murder is to have fun and be yourself

i have a vicious migraine and i am all out of imitrex because i am a stupid fucking assbag and when i refilled the prescription today i told them i would pick it up tomorrow afternoon instead of putting pants on and going 2 blocks to the fucking store

and now i can’t do anything about it until 9am

in related news guess who is not going to work tomorrow

Anonymous
asks:
Round 2. Awww yeah, I'll have you know I'm introducing "super gritty vajeeper" into the dressing room, and no one can stop me, not even Satan, not today. -Aries

YES EXCELLENT

Anonymous
asks:
I'm still alive and happy at my strip club. Happier, actually. I've taken to screaming at bad customers, "NOT TODAY, SATAN." -Aries

omg